Swain Challenges Trump

The Swain 2020 campaign has issued an open invitation for President Donald Trump and Vice President Mike Pence to take on Anarchist Prisoner Sean Swain– in the ring. In a press release, Swain challenged the president to a “two-on-one no-holds-barred no-pinfall submission-only tables-ladders-chairs Texas cage-match.” Swain proposes the match occur in the gymnasium of Buckingham Correctional, where he is now held, and broadcast on pay-per-view with all proceeds going to the winner.
“I’ll take on Trump and Pence at the same time,” Swain said. “They’re soft. They’re old. They send others to do the fighting. I would crush them if they got in the ring.” Swain claims he would easily suplex Trump from the top turnbuckle and that he would inflict such damage that “the yellow gopher stapled to the top of his empty head would re-animate long enough to run away.”
Swain has also challenged the Democrats to a ten-on-one tag-team match. When asked if any of the Democrats might pose a challenge, Swain named only one candidate: “Elizabeth Warren.”
So far, neither the president nor any of the other candidates have responded to Swain’s challenge.